Who Changed Your Life?

In August, Best Buddies held a contest - "What was your favorite 2010 Leadership Conference moment?". Buddies from all over the world voted for their favourite. Tori's entry received the #2 spot:

Robert Pio Hajjar Changed My life
by Tori Flather

"During the Saturday morning session, Robert spoke about how God helped him grow into the person he is today. I remember he said that he may never be a doctor, but he can be your best friend. He also said he has a disability, but it does not have him. That night I was able to meet him and his aunt at the dance contest. Singing Taylor Swift all night with him was pretty sweet! Robert is my inspiration for my chapter this year. It’s my first year being in Best Buddies but I will “keep the faith” as he would say and press forth to make Best Buddies known, accepted, and growing in my school and community!"

Who changed your life?

Robert and Best Buddies.

To see Robert in action, check out Christina Marsh's video:

With a Little Help From My Friends

"Every gift from a friend is a wish for your happiness..." ~ Richard Bach

In "The IDEAL WAY to Cook: Food for Thought," Jim Daabous gave the reader some insight into his nephew, Robert Hajjar.

"Well, what can I remember most? It has to be my nephew's desire to drive. Drive anything. It all started with a big wheel, the three wheeler with the large front wheel. When he was just a little guy, the two of us would go for a long walk/ride. Me on one side and him on the other, taking up the whole sidewalk. Crazy thing is, he never looked ahead, only down and/or to the side. Loved to watch the ground go by beneath him. All the while, running over anything in his way, or worse, my feet. As he got to be a better "driver," he graduated to shopping carts. Beware anybody who got in front of him, you were fair game, as the cart's front wheels peeled the skin off your ankles. Now resigned to the fact that he won't drive a car, he has his mother sit in the backseat of the car when his family goes on a trip, while he and his father sit up front. You need a good navigator, you know."

Robert Hajjar recently gave a speech to students at Sacred Heart CHS, in Newmarket. He mentioned the fact that he has always liked to be first in everything. “Especially the buffet table,” he said, and smiled.

What he didn’t mention was that he also puts his friends and family first. “I see all of you as my friends,” he told the riveted audience at Sacred Heart.

As founder of IDEAL-WAY, Robert was speaking on behalf of Best Buddies. (Sacred Heart has one of the largest contingents of volunteer students for Best Buddies.) After he gave his speech – and received a standing ovation – student members of Best Buddies and their developmentally challenged friends got up on stage and wowed the crowd with a rousing dance number to “I’ve Gotta Feeling”, by The Black Eyed Peas.

As they strutted their stuff on the stage, it got me thinking about what it means to be a true friend and why it’s so important to have at least one person you can connect with on a deep level.

“Best Buddies is grounded in the belief that friendship is important to the development of all individuals and that for all people with intellectual disabilities friendship is a medium through which they can become a part of their communities… For a person with an intellectual disability, friendship helps to ease the isolation, disempowerment or loneliness that often deepens the challenges that he or she faces daily. By having a student friend, Buddies are able to explore their world with a peer who brings empathy, laughter and support.”

Of course, friends are essential when you’re hanging off the edge of a cliff by your fingernails.

“Although they have known each other for just a few months, Baldwin High School students Heather Paranada and Rachel Barrett know the true meaning of friendship. As peer buddies in the Best Buddies Chapter at Baldwin, they are part of Best Buddies Hawai‘i. Rachel is not only intellectually disabled, but she also has a condition called Kyphoscoliosis…[which is] a curving of the spine that causes a bowing of the back, with scoliosis, a condition in which the spine curves away from the middle, or sideways.”

Rachel was told she would need to have a “very difficult” operation. Rachel bravely traveled to the Shriners Hospital in Philadelphia, Penn., to undergo two surgeries. At their first meeting, Heather presented Rachel with a teddy bear, necklace and bracelet to take on her trip and comfort her throughout her surgeries. “I wasn’t able to say bye to her at the airport before she left, but I did call her to say goodbye and she was sad,” she said. “But I told her it’s not goodbye, it’s ‘see you later.’” “I’ve been emailing her since she left, and Mrs. Barrett has been updating all of us of Rachel’s condition,” she said. “Everyone at Best Buddies is really pulling for Rachel and awaiting her return to Maui,” said McCormick. “They are following Rachel’s progress very closely.” " [Excerpt from The Maui Weekly, by Sarah Ruppenthal.]

In the first post of this blog, I wrote that "Rob is a reminder to shine your light into every corner of your world. And don't be afraid to offer whatever gifts you have. The beauty contained in a simple act of love will transform every life around you."

Photo: Matthew Amos.

What Do You See When You Look in the Mirror?

"In community people care for each other and not just for the community in the abstract, as a whole, as an institution or as an ideal way of life. It is people that matter; to love and care for the people that are there, just as they are. It is to care for them in such a way that they may grow according to the plan of God and thus give much life. And it is not just caring in a passing way, but in a permanent way. Because people are bonded one to another, they make up one family, one people, one flock. And this people has been called together to be a sign and a witness, to accomplish a particular mission wish is their charism, their gift.

Jean Vanier, Community and Growth, p. 20


“Some days it's easier to say thank you world, thank you! Some days it's easier to look in the mirror than others. Some days it's easier to laugh at everything and feel the pure happiness of life. Some days it's easier to walk in your shoes and understand how you feel.”

Life & Art -- Misty Mawn.


Let’s face it, some days it is easier to look in the mirror than others. But, as the author pointed out in What Came Down Today,



“Joy is not something that you get handed, you have to seek it out. Today, in the midst of work and appointments and bill paying, and the general lub-lub of Monday, do like me and seek out something joyful.”

Or, to put it another way: "I chose joy rather than overwhelm and it changed everything," as Aprille Janes said in her blog post, "Choose Joy."

In a previous post, “Choose Joy”, my daughter wrote about the power of choice. One person who embodies joy, for her, is Robert Hajjar, Founding Director of IDEAL-WAY.ca. "Rob, who has Down syndrome, constantly exudes happiness and warmth. He doesn't waste time with negativity, but chooses, instead, to revel in life's gifts.” After making “a few small changes”, she was able to “experience what Rob must feel every day: a sense of contentment and appreciation for life.”

So, in a nutshell, what is Rob’s secret? To give you a clue, on the Sept. 12th - 13th weekend, in Hamilton, Ontario, Robert Hajjar was the featured keynote speaker at the Best Buddies National Leadership Conference.

After hearing Robert's inspiring words, Zack Langille, a 15-yr-old student, and a buddy, said, "I had a great time and learned a lot, but I was really inspired and moved by a man named Rob Hajjar. Rob Hajjar has founded an organization called IDEAL.WAY.ca. He travels to conferences, schools and such to teach people about others with intellectual disabilities. And to believe a man can do all of this, even having Down syndrome himself. It is amazing how much one person can change your life, and it is truly inspiring to know that anyone can.”

(In fact, Zack was so moved by Robert’s words that he created a group on Facebook: “Get Rob Hajjar on Ellen!” "Rob's dream is to one day be on the Ellen Degeneres Show, and I am trying to help him reach that goal. All I am asking is to click on the link, and apply him on the "how to be on the show" section of Ellen's website.”)

After hearing Robert’s inspiring words, what do I see when I look in the mirror? I see ability: the ability to choose joy every single day, rather than 'some days.' I also see a slew of post-it notes, with Robert Hajjar quotes emblazoned all over them.

“I do not let the negative into my life, only the positive.”
“Leadership is attitude.”
“I am proud of who I am, and what I’ve done.”
“Yes, I have a disability, but I ask you to see my ‘ability’.”
“Never let anyone tell you that you can’t do something.”
“I want to inspire you to follow your dreams.”

Photo credit: Mark Ferguson. Photo taken at Robert's presentation, at the Community Living Georgina AGM