"The IDEAL Way to Cook"

“The IDEAL Way to Cook: Food for Thought” cookbook sits on my desk, hot off the presses. A couple of years ago, friends of Adeline “Addie” Daabous, Executive Director of IDEAL WAY.ca, approached her with the idea of a cookbook. Not just your run-of-the-mill cookbook, either, but one that would contain all her recipes. (I had sampled Addie’s cooking, so images of a cookbook containing her delicious recipes danced in my head. I kept my fingers firmly crossed that she would agree to our request.)

Let’s fact it, any cook worth their salt keeps their secrets under lock and key. They may be willing to share their favourite recipes with their loved ones…but the entire community? In the end, Addie graciously agreed to donate all her recipes to charity: IDEAL-WAY Inc.

As Addie said, “Initially, I thought oh no, giving away all my secrets. When I realized it was for IDEAL WAY.ca, I could not resist. This is not “just” another cookbook. Its contents are uniquely different, in ways which will surprise and delight you, with proceeds going to a worthwhile cause. This book is dedicated to all the “special” individuals we support. May they be honoured and recognized for their wonderful gifts to your community.”

As I leaf through this cookbook that is more than a cookbook, I realize that it will not only become a favourite in my kitchen - ultimately stained with gravy, tomato sauce, and my personal favourite, chocolate - but on my coffee table, too. This is the kind of book that you read out loud to your children before bedtime, or share with visitors, for it’s chockfull of “heartwarming personal stories of joy and hardship,” as well as poetry, which “provides a window of insight into often overlooked capabilities of persons with intellectual disabilities.”

The following is an excerpt from “The IDEAL Way to Cook: Food for Thought:

Welcome to Holland

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability, to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It’s like this…

When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. Michelangelo’s David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland.”

“Holland?” you say. “What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I’m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.”

But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It’s just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It’s just a different place. It’s slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around…and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills…and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy…and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.”

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away…because the loss of that dream is a very, very significant loss.

But…if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things…about Holland.

copyright 1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved. Reprinted by permission of the author.

Special thanks to Pearson Canada for without them, "The Ideal Way to Cook, Food for Thought" cookbook would not have been possible.